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feeling alone - need some mom friends to talk to

okay, so i am the mom of two lovely daughters one is 2 years and other is 1 month and i love them to pieces, i am also engaged to be married to their father who i also love more than anything ! BUT lately ive been feeling lonely and am getting frustrated at my loving finace for the stupidest things and i feel soo horrible after but by then the damage is done. i just want us to go back to normal and me not be so angry anymore.

there are alot of reasons why i am like this and i can list them all but mostly i think its because i dont have any of my close friends near me as they all live in Ontario and i live in Saskatchewan and dont really have a lot of "close" friends here i can actually talk to (last time i did they just told EVERYONE soo i kind of distanced myself from them in that way).

so im going to try to keep this short so you guys dont get bored and not reply .. my list of reasons of why im feeling lonely are :

1. not having any mom friends around me ( i know people who have kids around the same age but we dont really "hang out")
2. my friends and family are SOO far away :(
3. i just had my mom here for 3 weeks after i had my daughter and then my dad and step mom surprised me right after - so my house has been very quite since they all left.
4. my finace works alot ( which is good for us - i just get lonely without him)
5. im trying to plan my wedding without my bridesmaids as they are all in ontario :(
6. also all my close friends dont have kids!!


im not feeling depressed or anything just lonely and i just need some people to talk to !!! if i had someone to talk to i think that would help a lot.

thanks for reading. - i was dealing with a crying baby and a screaming toddler plus a puppy trying to eat my toddlers supper so sorry if this is all over the place and doesnt really make sense.

  1. courtneystav6 months ago

    ALSO to add
    my finace is so set on me breast feeding my daughter which has turned out to be a nightmare for her and i both as she will NOT latch ( i hae tried everything) and so i hae been pumping for her since the hospital and now my supply is getting lower whcih i am trying to get back and looking into ways to bring it back but i dont know how much longer i can do it for as it is exhausting for me (which he doesnt understand) and i just feel like if i dont breast feed he will be angry with me.

  2. Sarah Siders6 months ago

    Oh hun, that is super overwhelming. First off, I a mom and a mom coach and therapist so that is where I am coming from here as I reply.

    Motherhood can be so hard when we ask so much of ourselves. You're doing a fantastic job, I promise. When men have expectations about breastfeeding (BF) vs bottle, that really isn't helpful. But it's probably not about BF itself and more about what it means to him, like her getting good nutrition or it's what his mom did or something. You might ask him why it means so much. Then you can talk about your values and why you want to BF too but you can't do it at the expense of your mental health. I am all about BF unless a mother is losing her mind. Never worth it.

    Another BF obstacle can be that your daughter may have a tongue tie or she's just confused with the nipple - since she is also using a bottle. If you think it's a tongue tie, which is common, you can ask your doc to refer you to an ENT and they can assess and help.

    Hope this is helpful, mama. You're doing great.

  3. Hom6 months ago

    Hey there! I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. Being a mom can be a lonely experience. I hear you. I live far in Ohio, but I don't have many mom friends in the area so it can be lonely sometimes. I wish my cousins and my close friends lived nearby. I mostly see my parents and husband's family. I hope things get better for you! I'm here if you need to talk.

  4. Laura Misjak Miller6 months ago

    Hi Courtney,

    I think I get where you're coming from. We moved to a new state a few years ago and have since gotten married and had a kid, and I didn't realize how hard it would be to find some mom friends, let alone other friends to have a connection with! Over time, I've found a few new friends here and there by going to mommy and me workout classes and through work and friends of those friends, good luck!

    ALSO, regarding the breastfeeding, I had a similar issue with my son, who was born big and fed a bottle at the hospital so he would get something because what I was giving him simply wasn't enough. When we came home from the hospital, I tried and tried and it just wasn't enough, he liked the bottle and would cry and cry and eventually I would have to give him a bottle. This went on for weeks, with me trying to pump every few hours to get my milk flowing, which never ended up happening. I was a wreck and felt so guilty for not breastfeeding as I had imagined. My aunt who was visiting was finally the one that made me feel better just by telling me it's okay if it wasn't working out. Sometimes it doesn't work! The guilt went away, I kept trying a little bit, but honestly it was torture. I know my husband was a little disappointed, but I didn't think he realized how much work it would be for me. I think for other moms and babies it comes so much more naturally.

    So, keep trying if you like, but if it doesn't work, just do what's best and most comfortable for you and your baby! I know "breast is best" but best is really making sure your baby is fed!!! And hopefully your husband won't be angry at you, maybe just disappointed in the situation as a I'm sure you are!

  5. AiAi6 months ago

    I definitely know how to you feel. I am so lonely with my 2 months old. She has latching issues and my nipples are so so painful everyday. We tried everything so far, multiple LC coming to the house, clipping her tongue/lip, going to CST and acupuncture...wasting so much money and still at square 1. I am lonely and no family nearby. All my friends are singles...Hopefully this will get better for us. Feel free to message me...maybe we can connect on Facebook and chat.

  6. Lindsay Richards6 months ago

    Hey there girl! I know exactly how you feel. All of my friends had babies like 7 or 8 years ago--I'm pretty late getting around to it in my circle of friends...so as a new mommy I have NO ONE to relate to. My family lives several states away from me--so I don't have anyone except my husband. My husband is a whole different story--we've had issues for some time--he's a narcissist--I'm an empath--yadda yadda yadda-- big problem! Even though we're working on our issues...it still feels extremely lonely to not have anyone close by that I feel like I can really talk to about not only my marriage--but ESPECIALLY this whole giant BABY THING! He helps a little...but ultimately...it's all me...staying home..with the baby...while I work full time..and still try to find time to make the house a home. SO that said--I had to figure out when to give myself a break. Personally--I found breastfeeding WAY too stressful. Did I WANT to breastfeed? Absolutely, but I just knew that if I kept at it (with the little support I had) I was going to drive myself into a casket. So I moved to formula--and you know what? The world did not end. My son is just as lively and smart and beautiful as can be at 6 months old. I don't feel like he has been deprived of anything. His Pediatrician says he's doing fantastic--and honestly, that's all I care about. Migrating away from breastfeeding (not that you should, but it definitely helped in my own situation) was probably the best thing that I could have done for my sanity. I guess what I'm trying to say is--stop being so hard on yourself. Just the fact that you care enough to TRY means that you are a great mommy. Feel free to message me---I could definitely use the company as well!

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