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Tell me your miscarriage story

Going by statistics alone, I know that there are moms here who've been through one or even more miscarriages. Long story short, I was pregnant with triplets and then twins and then I wasn't pregnant at all - except my body didn't get the memo. Nothing quite like going through a traumatic procedure (multiples meant no option for doing it naturally at home even if I wanted to) and having my body still think it was pregnant for way too long afterward. I write about miscarriage a fair amount on my blog because I want to encourage other moms to feel free to talk about theirs. If they want to, that is. I know not everyone experiences miscarriage the same way, but for me it was devastating on so many levels. I still think about it a lot.

  1. KimGee4 years ago

    Hi Christa, I never miscarried, but I can empathize with your loss.

    I had been told after years of trying that I was unable to get pregnant & that even with medical help I had a 16% chance of conception. There was no rhyme or reason to it. Watching friends & family get pregnant & have babies over the following decade was unbearable. It even felt as though some people were trying to help but only said things that made it worse. I had lost the "dream" family in my head. That baby that was the vision of my husband & me rolled into one being, vanished. I ached to have children. I threw myself into the adoption process. That was full of pitfalls & disappointments as well. After 3 years in the process we received news that our agency no longer qualified for the type of adoption we were pursuing & it would likely be another 5 years before we got a referral from China. I was devastated. I have never been so upset in my whole life. But, life is funny that way. Just when you think all hope is lost, something happens that changes your world. Three weeks after the bad news, I received the best news I ever could have been given. The woman who could not have children was pregnant at 35. I held my breath until I held her in my arms for the first time. Maddie is now 4 & an older sister to our wee Winnie.

    I still look back on those hard days too, and wish I could have hugged my then self. I guess my point is in those moments of grief when you feel like you can't possibly shed another tear, try & remember tomorrow hasn't come, yet, and you just might get the surprise of your life.

    XO
    Kim

  2. [ deleted account ]4 years ago

    Thanks so much for sharing your amazing story, Kim. I was really moved when you wrote "I had lost the "dream" family in my head. That baby that was the vision of my husband & me rolled into one being, vanished." It never occurred to me that it was a feeling that could be applied across challenges, but that's exactly what I wrote about miscarriage: that it meant losing a whole imagined future that was very real inside your head/heart.

    Glad to hear you did finally get your wish - that's a pretty long, hard and also amazing road you walked to get there!

  3. Lovey4 years ago

    I wouldn't be as old as I am (ugh) with a baby as young as mine is if it hadn't been for MULTIPLE miscarriages. The first ones hurt so bad and it was a really rough time in my family's life but eventually I just kind of turned myself off from the hurt. Like I used to micarrying or something. It's not something I wish anyone would get used to...

  4. Kate Rowan4 years ago

    I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy. It was hard, but luckily I got pregnant very quickly after, which helped my mental health so much. I was terrified about losing another baby, but my son is now 2 1/2 and that event is worlds away. I named my baby Poppy, and I made a very tiny quilt that I hung on the wall to remember her. It helps to remember, despite the pain. It does get better.

  5. Kristen B-D4 years ago

    So sorry for your losses. I miscarried my first baby/pregnancy. It was a missed miscarriage at 13 weeks and I also had issues with my hormones returning to normal-requiring weekly blood draws for 6 weeks post-miscarriage. Completely devestated me..and was the first major hurdle in my marriage as well since my husband and I grieved very differently.I wasn't myself for a long time afterward and still think of our angel baby even now that I have a 2.5 yr old and 6 month old.

  6. Mrssmailey4 years ago

    I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks with my pregnancy it was tough but I was bless to get pregnant right away with my son Lukas.

    When Lukas was about 2 we decided to try again. Imagine out surprise that it was twins. It was a complete wonderful, overwhelming surprise. I spent from about 6 weeks to 11 weeks of the pregnancy switching from scared and overwhelmed on how we would handle two babes at once to excited and thrilled to be expecting two babies at once.

    It was a pretty tough pregnancy and I was very sick throwing up 10 times a day. Around 11 weeks, I truly embraced our babies and was thrilled at the idea of being a family of five. I went for my anatomy scan at 19 weeks. I was so excited to find out what the beans were and to see them. At the appointment, We found on baby stopped growing at 14 weeks. It was so devastating and surprising since we had supposedly just heard two heart beats the week before. We found out we were expecting a little girl and spent two weeks with mixed emotions- joy having our little girl and sadness over the loss of the other baby and our family of five that only weeks before I fought to embrace.

    At about 21 weeks we found out we lost our little girl that we named Elaina which means light/ ray of sadness. When we found out it was the most heart wrenching news I has ever experienced. I could not believe in just 2 short weeks I went from 2 babies to 1 baby to no babies. I was a very trying time in my life trying to fit into a world that went on seemly unchanged when I was so different and would never be the same.

    After almost a year and several different procedures due to remaining tissues and such, I was blessed to get pregnant with my sweet baby, Finnian. The whole pregnancy I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and I don't think I was fully except we were having another baby until he was in my arms.

    Finn is going to one Valentine's Day. He is such an incredible joy and amazing little boy. I now realize that I went through everything so I could get to be his mom. At times, this makes me feel completely guilty and others I find peace that this was the journey meant for me and my family. I think every baby has a purpose and my girls were to an lock a strength in me that I didn't know existed. I still think about and miss my sweet babies everyday over 2,5 years later.

    Wow, I never actually written this out and I so happy I did. I talk about it often but never wrote it out.

    Christa I often read your blog when I was going though my loss and never reached out for some reason but your honesty was very helpful and often spot on with what I was going through

  7. Rchains 4 years ago

    Mrssmailey, we had a missed miscarriage between our two kids, and during the pregnancy afterwards, I spent the whole time waiting for the other shoe to drop, too. It was the same thing--until he was in my arms, I couldn't breathe freely. And then after he was born, I was more protective of him than I think I otherwise would have been.

  8. [ deleted account ]4 years ago

    I miscarried about 7 years ago. I had no idea I was pregnant, but it still hurt because all I ever wanted was a baby. The hospital I went to treated me like crap though, and that didn't help anything. The guy I was with at the time was happy I lost the baby because he didn't want it. After a couple years with the man I am with now, we decided to start trying. Odds weren't looking too good. We tried for over a year and it was like everyone around was getting pregnant. I was so angry. Then, I was late and took a test, expecting it to be negative, but it was positive. We were overjoyed. However, later that day I started to have sharp pains. I was so scared we were losing the baby. The hospital couldn't determine much, just that it was very early pregnancy. I had to constantly get blood work done to check my hcg levels. It seemed like things were going well until I was diagnosed with hyperemesis. It was horrible and the worst case the doctor's office had ever seen. I spent a lot of time in the hospital dehydrated and having UTIs, all the while being in pain. Then they said the placenta was too low and I was scared even more. I suffered two traumas to my belly. By my 38th week, I had had so many scares that we lost the baby, and false labor, I just wanted her out. At 39 weeks, we went into actual labor that lasted over 36 hours, then over an hour and a half of pushing. I was scared the entire time that something would happen. After everything we went through, I finally had a healthy baby girl. At 10 months old now, she is a pistol. I went through hell but was so thankful that I had a healthy baby. After a miscarraige, it is hard to feel safe with another pregnancy, at least it is to me. I don't think it matters how many babies you have or how far along you were, it hurts really bad. No one can say doesn't, unless they just didn't want their babies.

  9. Gina Skrobak4 years ago

    We started trying the minute we were married for our first and got pregnant within 3 months. We were so happy! Than the day of our first appointment I had a bad feeling and wasn't even excited to go. When we got there we found out my baby's heartbeat had stopped beating just a few days ago. I was 10 weeks along and the baby was about 9.5. I tried to see the monitor but the doctor pushed it away so all I have is a 1 sec vision of what I "thought" I saw of her and that eats at me everyday.
    My doctor gave me the option to get a dnc or wait to miscarry naturally. I knew she was right, but I felt like if she was wrong and I got the surgery I was killing my baby so I choose to miscarry naturally. It was a horrible feeling to have my dead baby inside of me for the next two weeks but yet I didn't want to let her go.
    Exactly two weeks later I woke up early in the morning to horrible cramps and bleeding, and knew it was time. The doctor told me it would be like a heavy period. She may have said more but I didn't remember anything since I was pretty distort. Well, it got so bad that my bathroom looked like a murder seen and the pain was so intense I thought it was time to call and see if this was normal. It wasn't, the on call doctor met me in the ER and after checking things out, realized all of my baby(as they called her 'the tissue") was still in there and I was just bleeding out. She said I would have bleed to death if I would have stayed home any longer. At that point they gave me an emergency dnc.
    We tried again 2 months later and ended having my wonderful little man who is almost 3 years old now. We also have an 8 month old little girl. Even after all of this, I still get emotional about losing our little girl(they tested the 'tissue' and told us she was female). I named her lilla because that's what name stuck with us when I was pregnant with her.
    I feel like a part of my heart is missing. I thought time would heal things but, it will be 4 years ago tomorrow that we found out and it still feels like yesterday. I feel so cheated and I blame myself everyday. The doctor and my husband tells me it wasn't anything I did, but something inside still feels like it had to be. I just want to feel better and not feel so heartbroken every time I think of her.... Not sure what to do.

  10. nicole×34 years ago

    I had a miscarriage my 1st pregnancy. I was 24 years old and thrilled. Couldn't believe I was going to have a baby! I was the last of all my friends to get pregnant. We told everyone. I went for my 1st appt. Everything looked good. No heartbeat yet, just too early. A few weeks went by and I was spotting. So I went to the ER. They didn't do much, an ultrasound. Nothing to report. So I scheduled an ob appt for the next week. I was nervous and I knew something wasn't right. And I was right. No heartbeat, and my uterus was filled with blood. I had a dnc the next day. I was devastated. My life was over. It was soooo aweful. I can't ever begin to describe my feelings. My hubby was awesome. My brother lived near us, and he's was amazing. It was so hard.

    It took exactly 1 year before I was pregnant again. And when did I find out? While watching Knocked Up! Lol! I had a bad pregnany. Hyperemisis is a b*tch. My daughter was healthy and beautiful, and she fulfilled my dream! I know have 3 boys as well. I've been so fortunate!

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