I need some advice.
Hello, my name is Angela Im 32 years and old and in the last two years my life had been a nightmare. I never expected that I would end up writting all this in a forum but I really needed somewhere I could let all this feelings out. I not that I dont have anyone to talk about it, I know I could talk to this with my husband but I just feel bad that right now almost all of out conversations are usually about things like this and even when he is also going through a rough time he takes the time to try and cheer me up.
Sorry, I guess I'm not making any sense. I been married with my husband for 5 years already. We two have quite busy careers and we decided to wait a little until we managed to secure ourselves a place and a income enough to be able to properly raise a child. Two years ago we began to try starting a family, we began to research what we needed to conceive a child. Well I knew the usual way but my mother told me there was quite the many things to have in consideration in order to increase the chance. It really surprise me that getting pregnant was quite a complex procedure. We failed at the beginning but we keep trying regardless as we knew that this things take time. After a year of failing we went and check to an specialist, and the results was what we were suspecting. I wont enter in details but the result was that I would be unable to give birth. That was a really big blow to us, we felt devastated as the doctor offer us his apologies and give us the results.
Even now remembering about all that makes me wanna cry. For a couple of week after hearing that me and my husband put some distance between each other. I felt like I was failing him, like I was the reason we couldn't have our dreamed family. I think he believed the same, that he was dissapointed in me, that he deemed me a failure because I was unable to give him a family. After two weeks we began to talk like before we got the news. He apologize, he had been trouble dealing with all this, he wanted to support me but he didnt knew how to and so he decided to put some distance and give my space. After that we decided to evaluate other options and we went for our first cycle in IVF.
We knew the odds weren't that much into out favor but we tried regardless, but just like before it ended in failure. So right now I feel horrible again, I feel like just stop because I dont think me or my husband could deal with another disappointment. I dont know what else I could do now.