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Lonely and depressed 1st time mommy

Hello, this is my first pregnancy, totally unexpected. I feel guilty because I'm not too excited. I've been feeling lonely, my friends stopped treating me the same. It's like I have the pest. I guess we can't relate anymore. My boyfriend works as a promoter so I'm always alone come the weekend. Seems my life is changing in the blink of an eye. And I just feel depressed, lonely and misunderstood. Is this normal? :(

  1. [ deleted account ]7 months ago

    Congrats on your pregnancy Erin.
    Totally normal depending on what kind of people you surround yourself with. Embrace the fact that you are becoming a mom and it's a special and beautiful thing. You will get excited soon, keep yourself busy, go shopping for your little one online or at the store and this may help with reality kicking in and kicking out the guilt. I question your friends intentions however, I don't know of real good friends who treat you differently while you are in this situation.
    Soldier on girl, remember there will be lots of emotion that comes with pregnancy and this may be part of it. You may find yourself crying over spilt milk or the drop of a hat-all normal, blame the hormones, its not you. Good luck!

  2. ZachsMom097 months ago

    Hi Erin, hang in there. Pregnancy brings on big changes and emotions. It is normal to feel the way you are feeling but also important to not bury the feelings. Talking about how you feel and seeking the advice and support of others is very valuable.

  3. Nova'sMom7 months ago

    Thank you for your kind words ladiesi appreciate the support

  4. AmberW7 months ago

    Having a baby changes the world for you, that is for sure. I wish I could be there for you in person and give you a hug and just hang out and talk babies. This is my 3rd, I'm feeling lonely and depressed myself, although it is starting to get better. No one has been excited for the new baby like they were for my others.

    Oh and I think these feelings come about more in unexpected pregnancies, my first two were planned for, I charted and we planned intercourse and everything. The third? Just *BAM* preggo, not a great time, and I got all these emotions I did not get with the first two, the loneliness, the inability to get excited about the new baby, etc - talking with my husband helped a lot, and I'm finally coming out of it. But I think it is perfectly normal and valid to have these feelings, it doesn't mean you are a bad mom or you don't want your baby, but it is a normal emotional response to a less expected pregnancy.

  5. [ deleted account ]7 months ago

    I'm feeling the same way. Even though I am sooo lucky to have friends who already have kids and a very supportive family, we never wanted kids and this caught us completely off guard. It was a tough decision and I felt like it was all on me... I knew my spouse wasn't totally 100% but we decided t keep it. Now there are days I worry that's a regret... or mistake. Even though he does so much there just always seems to be this emptiness... and I also feel guilty for not being excited. And when I do get excited I feel guilty and don't want to share it with him cause I think it freaks him out still and we're in our 30s with our first on the way. It seems so overwhelming.

  6. Caitlin Kerrigan7 months ago

    I'm in the same boat. I'm in my 30s and this is my first, unexpected pregnancy. I have no close friends or family near by and the friends are do have are my party animal coworkers at the bar I work at. I'm only 8 weeks and I'm just so lonely and sad, I feel like my life has just been thrown across the room and I don't even know where to begin putting the pieces together. The hardest part is that I just don't feel like myself anymore. I would do anything to have someone to laugh with over lunch but I end up isolated and alone thinking that this might be one huge mistake.

  7. Nurburger 6 months ago

    How ironic that having someone else with us all the time can make us feel so lonely. I am on my third pregnancy (9 years after my first) and I don't remember feeling this excluded and lonely. My husband is constantly doing extra curricular activities and working, while I sit here with a large list of what not to dos. Sometimes I want to yell at him and tell him he has to stay home with me but then I realize how extremely childish that is. Its hard enough dealing with all these hormones..... I guess we just have to remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Pregnancy is not forever!

  8. Taylor116 months ago

    This is pretty normal. You have to make big changes in you're life and it's scary. This is the time in life when you find out who your true friends are, as well as make ones.

  9. tara2346 months ago

    I'm in the same boat. I feel like i should be more excited and embracing this but I'm scared, nervous and tired all the time. My husband doesn't get what i'm going through and when I voice how alone I fell, he feels that I don't appreciate anything he does for me. I live with my in-laws so most times i have no space of my own apart from when I'm at work, and that's not exactly leisure time. I feel alone and I don't know how to relate to him and get the support i need....

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