My DH has refuse

My DH has refused to be tested. It has been almost a year since I had all my testing thru our RE and had my fibroids/polyps removed. Every time I bring it up he comes back at me with a statements like we just need to get the timing right, or I already have a child. He has admitted that he's scared, not only of possible bad news but unsure he can actually supply the sample under pressure.

His child from a prev relationship is almost 16. He refuses to believe that his drinking and cigarette smoking are really that big of a deal. I have been able to convince him to not drink/smoke or masturbate for up to 3 days while I'm finding my peak time but I know it's not enough

We've been TTC for almost 3 years now. I'm 36 he's 38. Not sure what advice any of you can give but I just need to vent my frustration. I have no one to talk to about this.

  1. LindaEskridge1 year ago

    Hey there. I hope you're doing good. Yes you're right, he should be tested. Cigarette smoking causes fertility problems for men. Men that smoke cigarettes are at an increased risk for lower sperm count. Hormonal issues can also occur. And it can also reduce your biological clock. One thing causing problems in your fertility can be your age too. Women has less chance to conceive over age 35. Moreover in the late 30's, she's more likely to have miscarriages. Try convincing your husband with love. Don't discuss or force him to go for a test for a week or two. Just show him that you're trying hard for it. Discuss the thing after 2-3 weeks with him again. Maybe he'll understand that. I've seen men having issues for going for a test. But if you guys are willing to have a baby, and you're fertile then you must do every possible thing for it. I hope that things get better for you. Take care of yourself. Best of luck!

  2. Hannah.David1 year ago

    Hey there! I really think you need to make him sit and make him aware of the reality. It is better to hear the bad news now as that will help you know about the next step. As there are a lot of other methods you could opt for in order to get pregnant. Including IVF and IUI. So convince to get checked. Otherwise, it will get too late.

  3. Scarlett Hale1 year ago

    Hey there. Hope you are doing great. I am sorry to hear that your husband has refused to get checked. But since he smokes, he might be affected by it. You have to try to make up his mind with love. It is a time taking the process to make someone's mind up. But it is necessary for you to do this. Let him take his time and try not to mess things up. You would have to take it slowly. Only then you can get to know the real reason and can go for its solution. Best wishes.

  4. Boone1 year ago

    I think he is confused. Men do that. Please don't worry about it. It's really very much problematic for you but what can you do. You have to stand with him. As long as you guys are together. Well I think if he has a child already than clearly he is not infertile. He is good. The reason you mentioned is that he smokes and drinks allot. Well that is a cancer for the body. In every way.I am not even in a favor of consuming it's less amount. Than how could we talk about more amount. It's just not acceptable. That may be a reason for this problem now. Well What can we say until it's tested. I think you should refer your husband with some videos about the clinic that I have been many times. They got a Chanel as well. I am sure those videos may turn him.

  5. Lilly Bench1 year ago

    I am sorry to know about your situation. It is definitely the toughest thing in your life. As your DH is not trying to understand what you want him to. There are sometimes in life where it is difficult to understand that your habits can cause some bad effect on your health. Your DH is in the same situation right now. As he is not able to understand your point so, you must try to understand him. Try to talk to him politely about the fears you have. Talk to him about the consequences it may cause if he keeps denying to visit a doctor. Don't be hard on him. Stay calm and relaxed. Make him realize his habits and their influence on his health and your future.
    I have been gathering information about this clinic where you can go for the checkup. As I am afraid of being infertile because of the endometriosis. I have found this one a good clinic. I have also visited it. It might help you. Wishing you luck and success in future. Lots of baby dust on you. More power to you.

  6. Jasmine2211 months ago

    I think drinking can cause problem in having a baby. But it's not some thinking you have to worry a lot. May be you are facing some other issues in your body. You have to consult your doctor on regular basis for this. You have to find your problem. You can get good results only if you know about your problem. Nothing to worry about, you can easily cure your problems. Try to understand your husband, one day he will surely consider to have test. Only if he is interested to have a baby.

  7. Boone11 months ago

    What do you think. Does he really have this problem. Maybe it's just you assumption. Maybe it's some type of his fear and due to that he is refusing. It could be anything. I think you should talk to him politely and ask about the problem. Forcing someone in this regard is not appropriate. I think it's enough for this problem to just talk. Some problems can only be solved by simply talking.

  8. marylux11 months ago

    Hey there! He is indeed just afraid. Smoking and drinking are known to lower sperm count. I don't know how you can convince him though. May be ask him nicely again? Make him understand how important this is for you. That is what I would do. Good luck dear.

  9. DiannaViktor11 months ago

    O hey dear! Well, I know how it's like. Well, I think you should really make him understand...It's really important to know! MAke him understand! so, you can guys can move on, if there is anything or try other procedures. It will help! Even my DH also hesitated in the start, but later we got tested ourselves. xx

  10. melissastan11 months ago

    Drinking and smoking can greatly affect the sperm. When we count conceive we went for our tests too. We found out that my husband's sperm motility was very low due to his smoking habits. So this could be a possibility for you. Fortunately, my husband didn't see it coming so he did give me a hard time in convincing him for the tests. But I think your husband already knows the problem. He just doesn't want to face it.

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