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My DH has refuse

My DH has refused to be tested. It has been almost a year since I had all my testing thru our RE and had my fibroids/polyps removed. Every time I bring it up he comes back at me with a statements like we just need to get the timing right, or I already have a child. He has admitted that he's scared, not only of possible bad news but unsure he can actually supply the sample under pressure.

His child from a prev relationship is almost 16. He refuses to believe that his drinking and cigarette smoking are really that big of a deal. I have been able to convince him to not drink/smoke or masturbate for up to 3 days while I'm finding my peak time but I know it's not enough

We've been TTC for almost 3 years now. I'm 36 he's 38. Not sure what advice any of you can give but I just need to vent my frustration. I have no one to talk to about this.

  1. Tiffanysmith11 year ago

    Hi there. I hope you are doing good. I feel so bad for you. Cigarette or drinking alcohol both can lead to infertility. Even things like masturbating excessively. Try to convince him to leave these things. He needs to be tested. It's not always because of a woman.

  2. JuneHamilton1 year ago

    Hey there! I think you need to persuade him harder. It could be an issue with him. He should be more understanding. It is possible to develop some abnormality over time. Especially if he is a drinker and a smoker. He should consider your wishes. I hope it turns out to be good for you somehow. Good luck dear. All the best. Much love.

  3. rebecca121 year ago

    Hey there. I'm so sorry to hear about this. Your husband shouldn't refuse to get tested. Yeah, he's afraid, but you should convince him that you won't make an issue out of it even if he has some problem. There are many treatments available to treat infertility. I hope he agrees and gets tests done. I wish you Luck!

  4. Boone1 year ago

    I guess you should talk him out of it. It's very well dear. I am very sorry for it. It's not good at all. I am not happy at any level listening to this. You should talk to him. What if the problem is with him. I guess it should be checked before we conclude something. I just hope you understand what it is? It's getting worse day by day when you don't talk. Don't be afraid of anything. Just go through it.

  5. melissastan2 months ago

    Hello there. How are you doing? I'm sorry to hear about that. I'm glad you decided to share this problem here with us. I can give you my two cents here. Drinking and smoking can greatly affect sperm. When we count conceive we went for our tests too. We found out that my husband's sperm motility was very low due to his smoking habits. So this could be a possibility for you. Fortunately, my husband didn't see it coming so he did give me a hard time in convincing him for the tests. But I think your husband already knows the problem. He just doesn't want to face it. Maybe giving him some time to let this sink it might help. Dont rush into this. He will come around.

  6. Railee2 months ago

    That doesn't sound very good. I would suggest talking to him. He's probably a little afraid. That's fine, too. This is quite common. You should both get tested. It would be good to get a professional opinion. I hope there's nothing wrong and you manage to get a BFP. Sending you lots of baby dust!

  7. MirandaD2 months ago

    At times men do react that way. He is probably scared. I think it is important that you deal with the situation very calmly. We often dont realize how vulnerable certain men feel about such situations. Therefore, they need to be talked to. I would suggest that you have a serious conversation with them. Tell him that the situation is different. The right time will only come when both of you will get tested. This is because it is only then that the doctors will be able to find out what the issue is. The technology has improved and there are treatments available. Therefore, tell him there is nothing to worry out. Just make sure to visit the right doctor. Good luck to you. Sending baby dust your way. I hope everything goes well.

  8. Malinee2 months ago

    That's definitely not a good sign. It's really important to get your tests done. I would suggest coaxing him into it. It'll give you a better idea of what's up. Hopefully, it's nothing serious. I want to wish you the best of luck! Keep us posted on how it goes.

  9. MirandaD1 month ago

    I think you should talk to him and tell him how much you need this to happen. If he still doesn't understand. Then I would suggest that you go for counseling. That might help in this case. Also, for the progress of your treatment what are you currently doing? Are you visiting a good RE? Because that will also help. Good luck.

  10. kimberlyjames1 month ago

    Hey. How are you doing? That is a weird problem. I feel bad for you for being in a situation like that. Men can get really stubborn sometimes. I have some experience here so I know. If anything it should be equal. You both should get these tests done together. But if you think you can go for it alone. I'd suggest doing that. If everything turns out fine then you can persuade him to get it done too. And I too think you should give him some time. It is sometimes hard for people to accept such realities and get their heads about it. So Let him digest this possibility. I hope he comes around. Sending prayers.

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