Pregnant and feeling lost

Hi ladies,

I'm currently 19 weeks pregnant with my first child. I've had a lot of miscarriages in the past so this a a big deal for me. I feel like I should be more excited and happy glowing but instead I'm just depressed, feel lonely, lost, unwanted and repulsive. I'm unemployed and trying to get a job but nobody wants to hire an already pregnant woman. My boyfriend is also currently unemployed and looking for a job. We both live together but it feels like he would rather play on the playstation all day than do anything with me. When I complain I get told all I do is nag. I have bipolar and with the pregnancy I tend to cry a lot. I'm not on any medication for it and GPs cant do anything. I have no real friends to talk to and my family doesn't talk to me. When I do cry I get told I've nothing to cry about. I found him on POF (a dating website) which really hurt. He doesn't seem to want to cuddle me anymore and would rather wank to porn than have sex with me. Normally he is very cuddle and would do anything for me. He was so excited when we found out about the pregnancy. He says he wants me and only me and love me but lately it just doesn't feel like it. He tend to go out very late at night to look for a cigarette as we don't have the money for them. He is gone for 30 minutes but it's getting longer being 1 hour now. I told him it make me insecure and he said he is only looking for a cigarette and having some alone time that I don't need to worry. He only comes to bed early hours in the morning around 3am-5am. All I want is for him to come to bed at a normal time cuddle me. Is that too much too ask for. Am I being unrealistic and is this just all in my head. Sorry for the long post.

  1. Sonali SP2 years ago

    Wow, just try to relax and once the baby is born dump him.

  2. ZachsMom092 years ago

    Sorry to hear that you are in such a difficult situation and feeling lonely. It stinks that he is not more supportive and paying attention to your needs. I hope you are able to find some local friends that will treat you much better than that. It is nice to know you have some love and support. I'm not near you but definitely here to listen.

  3. terranya2 years ago

    hi im having the same problem with my boyfriend but worst . i rather not sure too much on a post but if u would like to message me feel free i would love to talk to you and hopefully we can help one another out.

  4. Mama45862 years ago

    As someone who has struggled with depression, I can understand feeling lonely and unsupported. Right now and throughout your pregnancy, your hormones will be surging and that can amplify emotional swings. When I was pregnant my emotions were like a roller coaster and I also had bouts of crying—it’s normal! Sometimes I cried and it made sense to do so, and other times I cried for no apparent reason at all. Again it’s very common and very normal during pregnancy.

    But because you’ve mentioned that you have bipolar, I'd encourage you to speak with your doctor about your feelings and your relationship with your partner, and ask for a referral to a counselor or psychologist. I found speaking with a licensed psychologist to be very helpful because he 1) listened to my concerns, 2) gave me unbiased, constructive feedback about the things I shared and ways to manage relationships and emotions, and 3) these things gave me the courage to take actions that fostered self-love and self-respect.

    Your health and wellness of body, mind and spirit are of the utmost importance. When you treat yourself well and others treat you well, your baby is treated well. Try to surround yourself with people who care for your best interests (ie that your needs for physical and emotional wellbeing are met!). Sometimes people find this kind of support in religious organizations, others in support groups, or online forums like this one.

    I'd also encourage you to ask your partner to stop smoking, and if you’re smoking to also stop. All forms of cigarette smoke are harmful, but minimizing your exposure to second and third hand smoke and your baby’s exposure to first, second and third hand smoke is beneficial. Cigarette smoke is especially harmful to a developing baby and could be a factor in why you've experienced miscarriages. At a minimum smoke outside so that cigarette smoke does not build up in your home.

    Something I found helpful was subscribing to’s Week by Week messages about pregnancy. Each week, I'd receive an e-mail with info on what mom and baby are/would experience that week, and other pregnancy related info. So often, the messages were right on point with what I experienced that week, and I felt so relieved that what I was experiencing was typical. Reading about baby’s development made me feel very connected to her as she was growing inside me.
    Week 20:
    Week 21:
    Pregnancy, Sex and your Relationship:

  5. luciey1 year ago

    I am emotional and touched by your story. What your husband needs is self-actualization. Sometimes stress in pregnancy does not get along well. In most cases, it can even cause miscarriage. That would be the painful thing if it happens to occur. I would advise you to calmly talk to your husband about the issue. Do it with a lot of love and care. Tenderness will make him eager to listen to what you will be set to tell him. And I know once you do that he will listen and oblige.

  6. Angelo 1 year ago

    Hi Tramalyn. First, I will congratulate on your pregnancy. Don’t let the sorrowful past turn your happiness into worries. I know it could hard to deal with MC. However, you should stay positive about your current pregnancy. Visit the doctor regularly in order to avoid any problem. Don’t think of MC and enjoy your pregnancy.

  7. nica5241 year ago

    Hello, dear. You don't need to put up with this. Tell him straight up that he has a responsibility too. The child you are carrying is his too. He needs to be mature about it. If I were you, I'd run the other way. If you ever want to talk, drop me a line. I'll be happy to listen and support.

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