May Need Marriage Counseling
I love my husband, and I adore my children, but my life has turned upside-down since I left the single life behind! Since we got married, we have had one major life event after another! Put it this way: between the end of 2010 and now we have had a quickie wedding, the hullabaloo with INS over his green card, our actual wedding ceremony, bought a car, had our first child, bought our first home, had his mother move to our country (does not stay with us, just nearby), and had our second child. With all of that happening so quickly, I feel like I haven't had time to breathe! Also, my hubby is a very shy, introverted man, and I am a much more social person. I have recently realized that I stopped doing some of the more social things that I used to do because of time constraints and an effort to spend more time with him. (And pregnancy and breastfeeding. It's hard to do anything when you've got to take care of a growing little person inside of you or feed an infant every few hours!) When it's all said and done, I just feel like there's no "us". We're Mommy and Daddy, but we aren't a couple. We do things with my family or we sit at home, but we don't do things together. For a while I tried planning date nights periodically, but if I didn't do it then it didn't happen, so we hadn't gone out in forever. (We have recently reinstated the date night idea, and we had a date in January and have one planned for February.)
I have talked to my husband about this and some of our frequently repeated arguments before, and I think twice I've told him that I thought we should consider counseling. He doesn't want to do it because he thinks that counseling means it's the beginning of the end. I want to do it so that we don't get to that point. Either way, I'm feeling blah about my marriage right now. I have considered that it could be PPD, but I feel very positively about my children. I just feel like I'm only a Mommy - a working mommy, at that - and that there's no more "me" or "us" in our lives.